Don't let the past hold you back,
cause soon you'll realise that life is short
Live it.
/ Thursday, November 8, 2007
{ 2:54 PM }
im boredd at home. =/so went to the net and looked for some jokes to relieve myself from boredom.here are some..This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, ''What are you carrying?''
''Melons,'' the blonde replies.
''Cool," the guy says. "If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?''
The blonde giggles and says, ''If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them.'' One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.
Again, she seems okay but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.
"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart." Brittany was on her deathbed, with her husband Adam at her side.
She kept trying to tell him something, but he kept saying, "Shhhh, don't worry now darling, just rest."
"But honey," she whispered, "I need to make a confession before I die... I slept with your brother, your best friend, and your father."
"Don't worry about it, sweetie," replied Adam as he wiped the tears from Brittany's cheek, "I know. Why do you think I poisoned you?" A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"
"Under the wagon." Harry was trying to smuggle a skunk abroad; he asks his friend the best way to do it. “Just stick it down your trousers,” his friend said. “He won’t bite you unless u sits on him.” “But what about the terrible smell?” said Harry. His friend thought for moment.
” He’ll get used to it eventually!”A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asked, “Mum, why do I have these huge three-toed feet?” The mother replies, “Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand and prevents you from sinking in.” “Ok,” said the baby camel. A few minutes later, the son asks, “Mum, why do I have long eye lashes?” “They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips throughout the desert.” “I see,” replied the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, “Mum, why have I got these great humps on my back?” The mother, getting a little impatient with the boy, replied, “They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can survive without drinking water for a long time” “That’s great, Mum, so we have huge feet to prevent us from sinking, long eye lashes to keep sand from getting into our eye and these humps to store water, but Mum…”,”what’s now?!” But why are we in London Zoo?” Lol. haix. so bored.just now went to visit maple.but still, i haven lvl.im slow, i know.but i dont care.haix.im rotting away at home le. SAVE ME!